On Saturday, May 30th,
it was only fitting that I ended my online journaling with a day at the
Carmelite Priory and retreat centre at Boars Hill, just outside Oxford
city. This was my only travel outside
London this past month.
And I ended my day
with a spiritual conversation with Fr Jimmy, a Carmelite monk who lives and
works there.
After hearing a
summary of my story up til that point, his suggestion was to continue my
journey of going deeper into silence, and let go of all the mental “enlightenments”
and “visions” that came in my prayer and meditations, no matter how insightful
or life-giving.
He suggested letting
go of literally all, even of all the rich imageries I experienced, just as John
of the Cross suggested to Teresa of Avila.
Though, I am mindful
too of what Teresa said in return, but that’s neither here or there for this
present moment so I let go.
I am allowing myself
to continue to go with the flow, and trust all things to unfold in perfect
time, even if it means that I may still find myself in this open space in
January.
And today, I listened
to an interview of Toni Morrison on BBC and felt so encouraged and affirmed
when I heard her say that “Beloved” was written when she lost her job, during a space of unemployment, before looking for
the next job!
And so I remain open
and surrender into entering deeper into silence and divine union, be it another
day, another month or another year. However
long it takes, and try to be present and mindful to each day’s journey
Thank you. Love and blessings to everyone who have been
following me this past month.
Nita
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